THIS IS HILARY DUFF.
THIS QUEEN BUILT DISNEY CHANNEL AND DIDN’T HAVE A SAD, DISAPPOINTING DOWNSPIRAL.
SHE IS THE ONLY DISNEY STAR THAT GOT IT RIGHT AND NOW SHE’S A HAPPILY MARRIED MOTHER.
THAT’S HOW ITS DONE.
CAN I ALSO ADD THAT SHE BATTLED ANOREXIA AND BEAT IT ALL TO HELL
“THE ONLY DISNEY STAR THAT GOT IT RIGHT”????
So my name is Joey White and I’m a very pasty pale British white guy at uni overseas. So I was introducing myself and this guy from Nigeria goes “Hi, I’m Joseph” so I said, “I’m a Joseph too! Joseph White.” Then he looked me in the eye and said in a dead serious tone “I’m Joseph Brown” and we nearly died.
oh dear god
mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition
ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have
me: i should get in the shower
*2 hours later someone else starts the shower*
me: o hmy god fuck you i was JUST about to get in there